November 30, 1999
"The Butch/Fem roles make it easy to give a basic description. But, no, I don't think so. I'm "femme" through and through, but am the dominant one, love working under the hood of a car, Guns'n'Roses and AC/DC, makeup and long hair, Tori Amos, ambiance, sci-fi and classics, jeans and pin-striped suits, burganstocks and high heels. So if there is, I'm one messed up gal, and very content to be so. What is the core of the issue for me is the ability to embrace the feminine power and the essence of womyn. Two of the "butchest" women I know are also the two of the strongest most female women I know."
January 5, 2000
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love women. Like was said earlier, it is the strength the unique emotional awareness the sixth and seventh and all the other additional senses the intuition. The BEAUTY of a woman who knows herself. I have met a couple of "butch-type" woman that were fully FEMALE -- beautiful. I have met quite a few "femme-type" women that still weren't in touch with their FEMALENESS."
January 15, 2000
"I feel honored when I'm pampered, not like it's expected, maybe because I've never been pampered beyond the "Hmmm, I'm interested, let's wine 'n' dine her". I've always had the "upper hand" - butch? or dom? (lol). When I appreciate someone, I do things like holding the door open and buying flowers and getting cards and buying the meal or drinks without thinking twice, whenever the feeling strikes (as opposed to only when I'm trying to "win" the person). If someone would take that sort of thought and time and energy for me months after we were an item, man, they'd have me forever. So for me it isn't an either/or.
Does it set the feminist movement back? I don't know. What I do know, is that I love making those close to me feel special, and I love feeling special. Personally, I see that as so much stronger than not appreciating the door being held for me. Example, when you tell someone they are beautiful (regardless of your relationship with them) don't you think more of the person who graciously accepts the compliment as a compliment? Who doesn't down play it OR read the world into it? I'm with Jackie when it comes to making women feel special -- I love doing it, watching their eyes light up. But it turns me off when they feel threatened, get defensive (says to me: ISSUES!!!!!!!! lol)
I know I'm harsh. But I've already spent too many years catering to needy people. (Note: IMHO, nothing on this board has been "catering to needs", rather a circle of friends, sharing debating giving advice, there's a difference in my mind -- what's your take? hypocritical?)
As for the male/female "roles"...why do we love women? Because of the unique feminine characteristics. If there weren't male/female emotional and mental roles, we wouldn't care who we were with beyond personality and tastes. Watch a baby, they want to play, they go to the men, they want cuddles, emotional whatever they go the women. RE: gentleman vs. receiver? We should all be gentlemen to those we love, it's called respect. We should all receive the attention we're given, it's called knowing how to meet our own needs."
January 17, 2000
"There is so much confusion and mental stress to females coming to themselves, the last thing we all need is for the stereotypes to be blurred more than they already are. There is a big difference between preferring women over men (homosexual) and wanting to BE a man. I think that is where the "butch" role even started coming into play. If a straight woman wears flannel and boots and works on the cars and goes hunting, yada yada yada, it's personality, if a lesbian does, it's "butch" and she's trying to be a man. That pisses me off. I am a woman, I love being a woman, I love women, I am a lesbian, who cares if I like being a grease monkey? Or that "femmes" AREN'T "true" lesbian. I think it all comes down to the assumption that if you love women, you want to be a guy. *what E V er* lol"