..."Capricious monotone"...
Names of lovers or almost lovers or fantasy lovers,
Not to be typed but only written in my Book
And I will go on,
"serving tea to friends...."

Fly away,
Fly away now...

Frozen again
Thaw for a moment
But always frozen again

Is there
a place
a plane
where
I belong?

Alternate reality
Always mine
Exist in reality
Exist in Time
blossom in none

Angel to all
Always my bane
Who will fly with me
Who can fly with me
Who shall fly with me
Who will show me how to fly...

"A Curse..."

Twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl
Wings I am told I have
But all I know is my
Music box trap

What is
My power
what is my spell
Please someone tell me
forever asked
lives and lives and more lives
Repeated by us all
But never answered

Is it God, is it Karma
is it ch'i or
Inherited witch
Is it Buddha, is it Fate
is it a spirit guide
Whatever I touch
whatever I determine
Bends to play my hand
for me easily
Yet I keep searching
the peace never
Right
Even the Alpha I chose
can be
Manipulated at will
So I DON'T
So I STOP
And all who surround me
feed on my unhappiness
Become my unease

I swore never to be Grace
never to be Rich
never to be Shane
never to be Emily
But when I swore,
did I swear away me?
Did I swear away me?

"I shall sit here, serving tea to friends...."
..."Without these friendships?
Life,
What cauchemar!"

You know those books
Where you can change
The head
The body
The feet
If I could try
on for size
Each of my people
who would I chose?

But I've already
Committed
Heart to Melissa
Life to David
Legacy to Isaac
So I'm forbidden by
someone's rules
To try on anyone else

I feel in me the power
Writhing and swirling
and pulsing and
Pressing
Waiting Impatient
for
Channel and me
to meet

I blink did I find it?
Then the waves
carry it beyond
Reach again

Someone, someone
Read this and say
Without question
Without doubt
"You
YOU
Are the one my madness
has been searching for..."